Break Up with Cortisol: 10 Ways to Soothe Your Nervous System While Moving On

In the movie Big Fish, they say, “when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that’s true." But when you realize that someone you thought would be your forever person isn’t right for you, it can feel like the sky is falling. Whether it’s a romantic relationship, a close friendship, or even a complicated “situationship,” breakups can shake us to our core and leave us feeling like a nervous wreck. While you can’t always control the outcome of a relationship, you can control how you respond and how you take care of yourself.

So, here’s a self-care routine to help soothe your nervous system during times of heartbreak, change, or any other situation that makes you feel anxious.

1. Go No Contact

Avoiding social interactions with someone who’s hurt you might be tough, but it’s essential. Don’t give this person any more of your energy or time. Going no contact can help prevent a “shaky feeling” that often comes up when you’re around someone who causes you stress. Think of it like a mental health condition; just as you’d avoid physical triggers that worsen symptoms, steer clear of this emotional trigger.

2. Avoid Trauma Dumping

While venting might seem helpful, constantly talking about your pain with friends can make you dwell on it more. Instead of turning to support groups or friends immediately, try journaling to process your feelings. This gives you space to feel without putting pressure on others or creating a habit of relying on external validation. Some social interactions, especially with people who don’t understand your emotions, can unintentionally intensify anxiety.

3. Cut Out the Coffee

Caffeine increases heart rate and adrenaline, which can worsen anxiety symptoms, especially if you have social anxiety. Elevated cortisol from caffeine can lead to chronic stress, which negatively impacts your health. Instead, try a matcha latte or tea. Many teas contain L-Theanine, which helps calm the nervous system and reduces stress without the caffeine crash.

4. Stop Scrolling and Start Moving

Scrolling through social media won’t help you move on. Instead, take control by moving your body. Exercise releases endorphins, which improve your mood and help you manage both short-term and long-term stress. Exercise is great for people with social anxiety symptoms, as it builds confidence, helps with daily life, and promotes overall well-being. You might even join a new gym or exercise class to boost your social skills and meet new people.

5. Eat Your Heart Out

Skipping meals or reaching for junk food can make you feel worse. Eating regularly and choosing nutritious foods can help balance your blood sugar and reduce stress. Foods high in magnesium, like dark chocolate, support muscle relaxation and reduce the physical symptoms of stress, like a racing heart. Healthy food can provide comfort and help you avoid social situations that might lead to poor eating habits.

6. Soak Up the Sun

Sunlight can improve mood and stabilize serotonin levels, which is essential for managing social anxiety and reducing symptoms of depression. Getting sunlight, especially in the morning, helps regulate your sleep-wake cycle, giving you better rest at night. Sunshine can feel like a natural therapy session, reminding you that brighter days are coming.

7. Take a Bubble Bath

A hot bath with Epsom salts and lavender oil can do wonders for your nervous system. Lavender’s calming properties help reduce symptoms of anxiety, while Epsom salts ease muscle tension. For people with social anxiety who often feel physically tense, a bath can be a great way to unwind and recharge after a day of social interactions.

8. Clear Your To-Do List

Sometimes, taking care of your daily life responsibilities can help ease anxiety. Completing even small tasks, like doing laundry or cleaning your room, can give you a sense of accomplishment. Clear your mental clutter by tackling one thing at a time. This practice is similar to mental health strategies like talk therapy, where breaking tasks down into manageable steps can reduce stress and improve focus.

9. Give Yourself a New Project

Instead of making your ex your “project,” pour your energy into something that benefits you. Join a support group, take up a new hobby, start a creative project, or volunteer. Projects give you purpose and a positive focus, which is key for people with social anxiety who need healthy distractions to build confidence and ease social interactions. You can also consider working with a mental health professional to identify positive activities that align with your goals.

10. Build a New Routine

Changing your environment and routine can create a sense of renewal. Go to bed a little earlier, try a new gym class, or explore different parts of your neighborhood. Developing a new routine can help you build resilience and adapt to life changes. When you avoid old habits and step into new spaces, you’re more likely to feel energized, inspired, and connected to yourself.

Why Self-Care Matters

Your mental health is crucial, and going through a breakup or stressful period doesn’t have to derail your life. Many people with social anxiety or those who deal with long-term stress struggle to keep up with self-care. However, prioritizing your needs can make a huge difference in your daily life.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, remember there are ways to deal with social anxiety and other stresses through self-care, new routines, and support. And if you feel like you need more help, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for support. Therapists can offer treatments for social anxiety, like talk therapy, and help you explore long-term solutions for managing stress and anxiety.

Self-Care: The Best Form of Recovery

Treat your heart and nervous system the same way you’d treat any other part of your body that’s been hurt. Self-care is like a support system; think of it as a personalized health care routine to support your emotional healing and well-being. By taking steps like these, you can feel more empowered to live a balanced life, full of calm and clarity.

Sending you sunshine and love,
Kayla Roesler - Blog writer at icalm Health